When We Fail to Manage, Tyrants Move In

Moving upward and beyond the Kent Dorfman School of Management

One of the most endearing characters in the 1978 film Animal House is Kent Dorfman—AKA “Flounder.” The butt of everyone’s jokes, Dorfman is the archetype of a “Hopeless Case.”

At the same time, we sympathize with “Flounder” and recognize that in spite of his softness, obesity, and lack of ability, he’s a throughly decent guy who probably COULD be just fine if he would get his act together. He is bullied by the sadist Douglas C. Neidermeyer and disrespected by the tyrant, Dean Vernon Wormer, who memorably tells him: “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”

At first glance, we are tempted to think that Flounder is the victim of Neidermeyer and Wormer, but upon closer examination, we realize that Flounder’s weakness has invited the abuse of these horrible men.

I’m often reminded of Flounder in my conversations with guys who identify themselves as conservatives or libertarians when they yield to the temptation to blame America’s woes on our dreadful government or on foreign actors such as the Chinese, Russians, or illegal immigrants.

It’s true that the U.S. government has become insane and pernicious, and equally true that we must contend with foreigners pursuing interests that often conflict with our own. However, it seems clear that we American people would be largely immune to the depredations of politicians, avaricious interest groups, perfidious foreigns, and other assorted villains if we took better care of ourselves.

I get it because I’m as self-indulgent as the next guy. Dr. McCullough frequently reproaches me for what he calls “too much good living”—i.e., having too many sumptuous restaurant meals and drinking too much wine.

When we fail to take care of ourselves and our affairs, tyrants move in to manage our affairs for us. This is precisely why the U.S. government has long had a policy of fostering dependency. A people dependent on the state are easily enslaved by the state.

The Kent Dorfman School of Management catastrophically fails in the following domains:

1). DEBT: Americans are swimming in it. Debt is useful if it is deployed for increasing productivity, but a disaster if it is used for funding consumption.

2). ALCOHOL & DRUGS: Americans consume way too many intoxicating substances. Every year, twice as many American die of drug overdose as died in ten years of combat in Vietnam.

3). OBESITY: 40% of Americans are obese—a condition that causes a vast array of physical and mental health problems, lack of energy and drive, and lack of will and ability to resist tyranny.

4). TERRIBLE NUTRITION: When I was a kid working for my dad’s commercial refrigeration company during the summers, my immediate superior was a funny and talented mechanic who chain-smoked Marlboro Red cigarettes and ate pre-packaged “Sloppy Joe” sandwiches that he purchased from a vending machine. Even at the time it occurred to me these were poor lifestyle choices, but he was by no means exceptional. Walk into any convenience store or fast food joint and observe that all of food items are garbage with no nutritional value.

5). OVERUSE OF PHARMACEUTICALS: 66% of adults in the U.S. use prescription drugs.

6). TV VIEWING: The average U.S. adult watches between 2 to 4 hours of television per day. Most of this is wasted time that could be used to improve one’s education and skills.

7). POOR SLEEP: 50-70 million adults suffer chronic sleep and wakefulness disorders. A people who are not well rested cannot think clearly and take care of themselves.

8). SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICTION: Social media companies have become supremely powerful instruments of propaganda. When we “death scroll” on our favorite sites, our viewing habits are being logged and used to manipulate our thoughts and feelings.

9). POOR EDUCATION: A widespread lack of education in history, civics, logic, and canonical literature has made the American people extremely susceptible to ideological indoctrination. An indisputably POSITIVE component of the internet is that it is capable of instantly delivering a wealth of truly educational material, provided the browser has enough basic education to know what to look for.

I want to emphasize that I’m not picking on my fellow Americans, and am myself guilty of much of the above or have been in the past, so please don’t shoot the messenger. I am merely pointing out that we freedom-loving Americans would be in a much better position to resist tyrants if we took better care of ourselves.